Children and Divorce


Word Count: 510

Children and Divorce: What happens after?

Summary: The greatest issue of divorce is the children because it is they who will witness a breaking of a union, something which they have little or no inkling about.

The greatest issue of divorce is the children. It is because every divorce can change lives -all the lives of those involve. The children take the full brunt since it is they who will stand witness to the breaking of a union; something that they have little or no inkling about. So between children and divorce, it is often the divorce that breaks the children. To prevent further damage, here's some casual do's and don't for your children and divorce.

Never Cry in front of your Children

Breaking down in front of your children and turning to them for support and direction is the last thing you should do. That includes facing them with puffy eyelids and flushed expression. Children (especially the little ones) are looking at you as sanctuary, a rock they can perch on especially at times like this.

Breaking down will shatter that image. And when that image is shattered they will lose their sense of security. While divorce can be very devastating to the parent, children still look up the parent for support. That's why it's very crucial to stand strong in front of a wondering child; because at times like this (like when they are afraid) it is they that will try to grasp your hands.

For that matter, this should also include not fighting in front of them.

Explain it to the Extent

Because if you won't explain, by rationalizing later on they will probe for answers on their own and sometimes it is the marriage itself that they will hit. Tell the facts clearly, there had been some instances that the child felt the blame of the divorce. But never include very intimate issues. Just tackle on the facts but skip the details. Particularly issues of immorality.

Only the facts should be stated, not your opinion. Your opinion could be a bit one sided, and you could only ruin the image of your spouse to them. There are other parents that reversed the situation into a learning experience. Instead of sharing their opinion, the parents asked each of their children what they should do when the time of their marriage will come (and divorce for that matter).

A Graceful Exit

Separating as friends is the most beneficial. It allows further visits by either party without initiating it in a fight. Also, keeping track of the children would be far easier since contacts can be made easily.

The main problem between children and divorce is the lives that would later be led after the separation. There had been too many incidents where youngsters fall off course due to terrible divorce incident. Plan carefully. Remember, divorce is a personal issue that has to be resolve between the couple, but the effects of which will affect all those around you.
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